Remember this guy?!
As funny as this blowup autopilot was in the movie “Airplane”, it’s not so funny when you… or your spouse… is stuck in “Auto-Pilot” mode.
Like when your spouse brings their “boss mode” home from work and doesn’t realize they’re talking to you with the same tone and face expression as they used with their under-performing employee two hours prior.
Or when you feel like your spouse is always looking at their phone, even while pretending to listen to you.
Now our Auto-Pilot deserves a little love and respect. For he/she has good intentions in helping us focus on all we’re responsible for in this super busy life, so we can actually overcome all the distractions around us, get stuff DONE, and be SUCCESSFUL in ALL of our roles both at home, and at work.
So how do we manage our Auto-Pilot in a way that allows us to get full benefit from him or her, while not hijacking our most important relationships at home?
I’d love to suggest…
Create and Execute RELATIONSHIP RITUALS:
Rituals offer a concrete, action-based way, that we have control over, to ensure we connect with our love partner at home in a consistent, predictable, and more meaningful way.
Rituals can meet all of our six universal human needs for CERTAINTY, SIGNIFICANCE, VARIETY, LOVE & CONNECTION, GROWTH and CONTRIBUTION.
I’ve seen clients establish all sorts of rituals for their marriages and families including:
- Connecting DAILY for 15 minutes with clear, intentional guidelines (no TV or phones; no talk of finances, work, kids, chores, in-laws… etc. (Research shows this daily 15 minutes can really uplevel your connection).
- Scheduling a weekly date night
- Playing your favorite board games together on a particular night each week
- Scheduling physical intimacy
- Filling gratitude jars with notes of appreciation and gratitude (for both Self as well as Others!)
- Eating dinner together every night and asking a particular question (ie. “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?”)
- Friday night dancing in the living room
- Longer walks together
- Showering together
- Volunteering together
- Learning something new together
What are you struggling with, or wanting more of, in your own marriage? Don’t be shy! I’d love to hear from you!
Also, if you’re wanting or needing help in breaking through a limitation or challenge in your relationship… EVEN if you’ve tried everthing and past therapy and counseling hasn’t worked… I’d love to invite you to apply for a FREE 45 Minute Strategy Call with me.
Also… I invite you to check out my Facebook page “The Art of Fulfillment” as well as my private Facebook Support Group, “The Relationship Revolution” for support, insights, tools, and strategies to help you ignite connection, fun, excitement and intimacy with your partner at home so you can feel more understood, appreciated and respected!
It takes just one person… to transform ANY relationship!