Seeing the “higher intention” in what we, and others, do is one of life’s most important strategies.
Ever wonder why a loved one acts or behaves the way they do, even when directed toward you? Perhaps their behavior causes you hurt and pain. Maybe you feel stuck as far as why they act the way they do. It feels personal. What gives?
What if… in these more challenging relationship moments, we were able to ELEVATE the other person by seeing a HIGHER INTENTION in their behavior.
Don’t think they could possibly have a “GOOD INTENTION” with some of the things they do and choose?
What if I told you EVERYTHING we do (our thoughts, focus, actions and decisions) are all driven by a HIGHER INTENTION… no matter what the circumstance?
This may sound like a bunch of woo woo crap… but please allow me to explain.
We all have a higher intention, believe it or not, in all of our functional AND dysfunctional behavior. And that’s to get our human needs met.
All dysfunctional and unwanted behavior stems from an inability to get our own needs met at a higher level, or in a more constructive and productive way. So even when you, or someone in your life is “behaving badly”… it’s all in effort to get these important needs met.
Getting our universal human needs met helps us to PROTECT, PREVENT or PROVIDE something for ourselves, for someone else, or ideally both so that we can experience PLEASURE and avoid PAIN as much as possible.
We’re most of the time not aware of this… since we go about getting our needs met in a mostly subconscious way.
What if the new question became:
WHAT NEEDS ARE YOU / THEY TRYING TO MEET through their actions and behavior?
When you ask this question instead, you elevate your THINKING, you elevate your mind… and you elevate the other person. In turn, you elevate your relationship.
You can CHOOSE the meaning you will attach to another’s behavior and choices.
And when we come from a place of CHOICE, we typically show up better for others in our lives by becoming more empathetic and compassionate about exactly where THEY are at instead of relying on our own filters and unconscious judgments.
Say your wife is nagging you about how you never take her out on date night. Or say she likes to talk your ear off when you get home from work when you just want some peace and quiet!
Or say your husband, or your son, seems more addicted to video games than before and you can’t seem to get their attention the way you used to. Or why your man shuts down on you when you’re trying to express your feelings to him.
When we assume less and get more curious about WHY our love partner, and the key people in our lives act and behave the way they do, make the decisions they make, feel the way they do, think and believe what they do… we deepen our relationships.
It takes very little effort or awareness to judge or assess someone else’s behavior and choices… but when we get better about seeing our own and other people’s behavior through the lense of the “6 Universal Human Needs”, we get better about seeing the HIGHER INTENTION in our own and others’ actions… and can get much better at having meaningful, intentional and deeply fulfilling relationships.
Our human needs drive all of our functional AND dysfunctional behavior!
Want to discover which needs YOU, or someone you love, values most? Find out here! https://jenniferblankl.com/what-are-your-top-2-needs/
Want help igniting connection, love, fun and intimacy in your love relationship or marriage? I can help! Let’s jump on a free 20 minute Coaching Consult for you. Schedule your time here: https://jenniferblankl.com/lets-connect
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To Your Loving Relationships,
Jennifer Blankl
Certified Relationship & Marriage Coach
Certified Life Coach
Certified Strategic Interventionist
“Jennifer helps busy professionals & parents ignite connection, excitement, intimacy & fun in their relationships so they can feel more respected, understood, and appreciated, all without further exhausting themselves. All within 90 days, without therapy.”
