Never underestimate the importance of sex in your relationship.
Sure… your sex life isn’t going to be insanely hot all the time. Your desire for your spouse (and his or hers for you) ebbs and flows through the years as it’s supposed to. HOWEVER… if a lack of sex is hurting or unnerving either or both of you, you owe it to yourselves to find a way to talk about it and break through the barriers.
Physical affection and intimacy is like a double dose of vitamin B12 to a marriage. It can be the very thing to get you guys in to the mental, emotional and physical space where you CAN. FINALLY. RECONNECT. Like, for real.
As soon as one or both partners loses interest in having sex, resulting in an infrequency, or altogether absence of physical intimacy… your relationship is in trouble.
A client of mine who came to me after his wife discovered his sexual affair said the reason he was able to justify “such an atrocious act” is because his wife said that “romantic sex has no place in a marriage” when he would ask why she doesn’t want to have it with him. You won’t catch me condoning or even justifying infidelity. I also understand from listening to him, that the pain this man feels from a wife not wanting him physically, while taking no interest or responsibility to heal their sexual relationship, was the marriage’s death for the man. Forget about who is to blame for how they got where they are now. It’s the pain of rejection in the bedroom over time that will drive the best of characters to commit crimes of love.
Think about this…
Without physical intimacy, there’s little difference between your relationship and a fresh salad on the kitchen counter. The only difference between a fresh, crisp, refreshing salad… and garbage… is TIME. That’s it. TIME. When it comes to a marriage that lacks sex or regular physical intimacy, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship itself dies.
Not to be dramatic, but sex is absolutely VITAL to the joy and fulfillment in your relationship or marriage. And when we (especially us women) understand this, and honor this truth, the better we’ll be able to tap in to the power within us to feel and experience a much deeper connection with, not only our partners, but our amazing Selves as well.
The absence or infrequency of sex or intimacy in a marriage is a significant red flag from my perspective as a Relationship & Marriage Coach. Of course, it can mean very different things to different people, but having a mutually satisfying sex life is an excellent support system for a healthy, marital relationship. It makes the little day-to-day annoyances so much more bearable. It solidifies the foundation of our marriage so that we’re not so easily shaken. And it allows us go out in to the world and rock it outside of the bedroom because we feel sexy, confident, wanted, desired, loved, craved…. And on and on.
So stop waiting until you’re “in the mood”… or perfectly happy with your spouse to take action in the bedroom. Because, frankly, the stars will never align.
Surprise your Self and them by being a bit more frisky and flirty today.
Have no clue where to begin to even talk about this stuff with him or her? Are there other challenges at home that need to be healed before you can even wrap your mind around the thought of sex, or simply the ‘sex talk’?!
Then apply for a FREE Strategy Call with me and well dive in to your personal sitch and get you relief and a plan.