Have you ever received a super long text or email from someone who is expressing their deepest opinions, emotions, feelings, and thoughts about you, or your relationship? MAN. I gotta admit… this one is straight up triggering for me!
Since when did we decide as a human race to chop ourselves off from all of the gifts we give and receive when we afford ourselves and others LIVE, HUMAN INTERACTION? How many of us pick up the phone to talk to someone in our world LIVE instead of texting or emailing them? It’s become a nuisance, a pain, a chore-like feeling to get on the phone and have a real, human vulnerable exchange with someone face to face or live voice to live voice. When we communicate openly and live with someone, we get to feel, see, hear, smell and taste everything…. Their tone of voice… their facial expressions… their body language… ALL OF IT. This is the GIFT! Sure, this requires more of our own TIME (here’s how to get MORE time), energy, focus and attention to have these live interactions with others. But that’s time, energy and attention well spent. Because in those moments of live interaction, we learn the most about ourselves. We learn the most about the other person because we can SEE THEM. We can HEAR THEM. We can FEEL THEIR ENERGY.
The digitized written word has no tone, body language, audible expression, or seeable emotion. The recipient is merely left high and dry. Alone. On their own to interpret 93% of the other person’s communication. Which, in most cases, is interpreted incorrectly… which leads to severe misconceptions, mis-interpretations, a host of unwanted and unintended feelings… and the list goes on. Research proves only 7% of our communication is our words and language. The much heavier and more valuable 93% includes our tone of voice, our very telling body language, and facial expressions.
So truth be told, if you’re not having a live conversation with someone when it comes to something about your relationship, a disagreement or difference of opinion, or anything that is meaningful and requires an exchange… then you are avoiding something. And whatever you’re avoiding comes with a life and relationship-altering consequence. Because you’re robbing yourself and the other person of full, authentic communication. We cannot possibly understand one another through the written word alone. We need the other stuff too… the 93%. That’s what makes the world go round. Not 20 texts in your inbox, or 50 comments on your Facebook post… it’s about REAL, LIVE human interaction. The good stuff. The meat of life.
So love yourself and those in your world better by offering up a bigger dose of living, breathing live conversations with those you care about. Exercise your vulnerability muscle. Put yourself out there with others more often. Sure, it may feel awkward or even difficult… but I assure you the more you connect live with others, the more you reach out, the more time you give to have meaningful, conversations where you gift others with your presence… you’ll be fuelled to do it more often. Because it will feel good. Live human interaction full of presence is the biggest gift we can give to ourselves and others.
Here are 2 STRATEGIES to help you shift your communication habits so you can feel more joy, and more fulfillment in your daily life!:
- NEVER text or email about your Relationship! Make this your new rule. Whether it’s your spouse or significant other, your parents, your friends… Anything relationship-related must be done LIVE! No exceptions.
- Make shorter phone calls to your family and friends. I know it’s way quicker to text. But try calling and saying “Hey, I’ve only got 3 minutes… but I wanted to call you real quick and say_________________ “. Set it up at the beginning of the call so you don’t have to feel the pressure and discomfort of needing to get off sooner than later.
Remember… it only takes 1 person to transform any relationship! You deserve more joy and fulfillment in your life!
Cheers to your Extraordinary Relationships!
Jennifer Blankl
Certified Relationship, Marriage & Divorce Prevention Coach
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